Seoul: Concrete Jungles and Neon Lights

Welcome to one of the largest cities in the world, a maze crammed with 11 million people, and almost as many restaurants. It's amazing that 99.5% of the population stays skinny. People love or hate this city. It's polluted, loud, crowded, and not for those without a sense of direction. U2's song, "Where the Streets Have No Name," applies here. There are few street signs! How does the mail get delivered? The Japanese colonial era destroyed much of old Seoul, as did the Korean War. There are still some old, traditional neighborhoods, though, such as Inda-dong, my favorite, and Anguk-dong. Nightlife abounds, from expensive nightclubs to the ubiquitous so-ju tents. There is plenty of shopping, and if you're an adventurous eater, you'll love the street fare. Plus it's easy to get around: the subway system is among the best in the world, buses run nonstop, and taxis are cheap--if you can get one!

WHAT TO SEE: The palaces. Insa-dong: This is old Korea. You can sip wonderful teas, sample sticky rice cakes, and forget you're in a city that has one-fourth of the nation's population. The markets: Namdaemoon and Tongdaemoon, and Moran Shi-jang in Songnam, south of Seoul, is a must; you'll see all kinds of delicacies that spawned Sally Struthers infomercials. If you can convince the staff that you're 20, get into a "rock cafe." Myung-dong, the main shopping district: walk on one of the alleys on a Saturday and all you will see is a sea of black hair. Do-nam-dong: this neighborhood, where I lived for a year, is filled with high school students. The department stores: I think the country's military and department store staffs have about the same amount of people enlisted. Pan-moon-jeom, on the border of North and South Korea. It's a fascinating day trip, and since no one is in the DMZ, it is Korea's last pristine wildlife refuge.

WHAT TO DO: You have to go to a norae-bang, where you can rent your own karaoke room. This is only fun if you go with Koreans, but if you look like a lost foreigner, you'll make a new friend faster than you can say "kim-chee!" Hang out in Shin-ch'on for an evening, near Yonsei and Sogang Universities; the stop is on the Green Line. There are bars and places to eat everywhere, including my favorite, "Woodstock," where you can listen to classic rock and write on the tables and walls! Taehangno, or "College Street," is another great place to drink, eat, and people watch. Buying a beer at a convenience store and drinking it on the street is one of my best memories of being in Korea. Go to a palace and watch all the wedding couples have their photos taken. You'll either laugh your head off or get nauseated. Go to one of the markets after 11:00 p.m.: you'll be amazed at how crowded they are! For a fascinating glimpse at Seoul's seedy side, go to one of the red light districts at Hwa-yang-ni, Mia-ri, or Ch'ong-nyang-ni. You will either get friendly "hello"s from the night workers, or get hissed at. Learn the word, ah-joo-mah and ah-juh-shee, which are polite terms for "ma'am" and "sir," respectively. Step on the grass at Olympic Park and see how many milliseconds it takes a park ranger to blow his whistle and yell at you. Make sure you have pocket sized packets of tissue on you because bathrooms rarely have toilet paper.

WHAT NOT TO DO: If you go to Pan-moon-jeom, book your trip through the USO, not one of the Korean travel agencies: they are a rip off! Don't try to go to any of the palaces or museums on a Monday: everything is closed. Do not even try to take a cab between 11:30 p.m. and 1:00 a.m.! The fare goes up at midnight, and it is pure mayhem. You may as well stay out later and then go home after 1:00. Don't order food from a so-ju tent without asking how much it is first, or you may be overcharged.

WHERE TO EAT: Across the street from Dongguk University is an excellent vegetarian restaurant, which also serves very nice teas. Insa-dong also has wonderful restaurants that serve traditional fare. Check out the Yet Ch'a Jip tea house, where birds fly around as you sit among old Korena knickknacks. You'll see the sign as you walk along the main drag here. Neighborhoods near universities are filled with restaurants that are very reasonable. If you're craving western food, all the garish American restaurants are around, but the best is Jungle Jim's, in Chong-no and Apkujong-dong. For something sweet, the fruit flavored ice creams at the Lotte Department stores are wonderful: try the pear and kiwi! Graze at the department stores: free samples are always given out, even liquor sometimes! The ninth floor of Lotte has a bunch of restaurants plonked in a gaudy and cheesy setting.

Ah, drinking. There's plenty of that in Seoul. If you go to It'aewon, the shopping and nightclub district near Yongsan Army base, you must try a soju slushie at the Soju Kettle, near "Hooker Hill." Just ask any drunk Canadian English teacher around It'aewon and he or she will point the way.

WHERE TO STAY: Korean inns, yeo-gwan, are everywhere. You can ask the Korean Tourist Desk at the airport (the KNTC), but I've found they are not too helpful, or try to get you into an overpriced 4-star hotel. A decent place will cost about 30,000 to 40,000 won a night. It's difficult to check into one in Shinch'on because they rent to students by the hour. You can find one cheaper, but it may be a brothel or just plain filthy. There are plenty of decent yeo-gwan in Sam-sung dong: I find others in different neighborhoods to be pretty seedy. Insa-dong has some decent yeo-gwan as well. There is a youth hostel near Olympic Park (02-410-2114), but it's a bit out of the way and I understand it's constantly booked.